Kæledyr Information
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Pets: The Wild Kind Kæledyr: den vilde slags


Just because we moved out to the country a couple years back does NOT mean we want to run a farm. Bare fordi vi flyttede til landet et par år tilbage, betyder ikke, vi vil køre en gård. Tending to animals is just not how we want to spend our time. Tendens til, at dyr er bare ikke, hvordan vi vil bruge vores tid. We don't want cows or sheep or chickens. Vi ønsker ikke, at køer eller får og kyllinger. We don't want hogs or ducks. Vi ønsker ikke Hogs eller ænder. We don't even want a dog or a cat to train. Vi ønsker ikke engang en hund eller en kat til toget.

OK, so my wife says that she wants a cat, but that's only because she knows I won't have anything to do with it. OK, så min kone siger, at hun ønsker en kat, men det er kun fordi hun ved, at jeg ikke vil have noget at gøre med det. I suspect that if I ever said, "OK, you win. Let's get a cat", she would run screaming down the stairs pulling at her hair and just keep on running... Jeg formoder, at hvis jeg nogensinde sagde: "Ok, du vinder. Lad os få en kat", hun ville løbe skrigende ned ad trappen trække på hendes hår og bare bliver ved at køre ... causing damage to the stairway carpet, not to mention the window at the bottom of the staircase. forårsager skader på trappe gulvtæppet, for ikke at nævne vinduet i bunden af trappen.

We don't want a parrot or a rabbit or a hamster or even a mouse. Vi ønsker ikke en papegøje eller en kanin eller en hamster eller en mus.

But when you live in the country, you have pets, whether you like it or not. Men når du bor i det land, du har kæledyr, om du kan lide det eller ej.

The first summer, we were welcomed by Muffet the skunk. Den første sommer, vi blev budt velkommen ved Muffet den stinkdyr. Although she never responded to that name, we let her keep it. Selv om hun aldrig reageret på, at navn, vi lod hende beholde det. She just loved our compost heap. Hun bare elskede vores kompost bunke. In fact, she had a frequent-eater pass at the all-you-can-eat compost buffet. Faktisk havde hun en hyppig-Æder pass på alle-du-kan-spise kompost buffet.

The second summer we were skunk-free, but this summer we were blessed with a new traveling perfume salesman. Den anden sommer var vi stinkdyr-fri, men denne sommer vi var velsignet med en ny rejse parfume sælger. We did not name him, but we have determined that he is on a diet. Vi har ikke navnet ham, men vi har konstateret, at han er på en kost. He stays away from the all-you-can-eat compost buffet. Han opholder sig væk fra al-du-kan-spise kompost buffet.

He is also much less intelligent than Muffet. Han er også langt mindre intelligente end Muffet. When we see him, we jump and shout and wave our hands to get his attention,. Når vi ser ham, vi hoppe og råbe og bølge vores hænder for at få hans opmærksomhed. But we usually have to get his attention three or four times before something in his microbe-sized brain clicks in and says, "Wait a minute. That's not the hot dog vendor beckoning me to clean up his leftovers. Maybe I should turn around." Men vi har normalt at få hans opmærksomhed tre eller fire gange, før noget i hans bacille-store hjerne klik ind og siger: "Vent et minut. Det er ikke varm hund sælgeren venter os mig at rense hans madrester. Måske jeg skulle vende om. "

But he is smart enough provide a two-tier burglar deterent. Men han er smart nok give et todelt indbrudstyv deterent. First, he drives them away with his odor. Først, han drev dem væk med hans lugt. "Peee-ew. Let's go rob the Jensons down the road." "Peee-ew. Lad os gå rive Jensons nede ad vejen." Second he digs thousands of tiny pits all over the lawn to trip any burglar foolish enough to try to escape. Anden han graver tusindvis af små miner hele plænen til at rejse nogen indbrudstyv tåbelige nok til at forsøge at undslippe.

And to answer your question, no I did not personally verify the gender of these skunks. Og for at besvare dit spørgsmål, nej jeg har ikke personligt kontrollere køn af disse skunks. But you are free to check if you doubt my word. Men du er fri for at kontrollere, om du i tvivl om mit ord.

This summer, we discovered an exotic spider (See http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net/spider.html ). Denne sommer, opdagede vi en eksotisk spider (Se http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net/spider.html). Painted on its inch-long black back are two bright yellow eyes. Malet på sin tommer lange sorte Tilbage er to lysende gule øjne. Spooky. We even watched it wrap its prey - a small, light brown flying thingy. Vi har selv set det wrap sit bytte - en mindre, lysebrunt flyvende nok. With amazing speed, the spider scurried from the center of her web toward the helpless victim at least a foot away. Med forbløffende hastighed, edderkoppen scurried fra midten af hendes web mod den hjælpeløse offer mindst en mund væk. Then in a matter of two seconds flat, the spider spun the fly around three or four times, weaving it into a web cocoon like rolling a corpse in a carpet behind Luigi's Fine Finer and Smokes. Så i en sag af to sekunder flad, edderkoppen spundet de flyver omkring tre eller fire gange, vævning det til en web Cocoon gerne rullende et lig i et tæppe bag Luigi's Fine finere og ryger. No gangster could have operated with one tenth the speed. Nr. gangster kunne have opereres med en tiendedel af hastigheden.

Just a few hours ago, I was proud to show off a bees nest over a foot tall hanging from a low branch in our One Acre Woods. Bare et par timer siden, jeg var stolt over at vise en bier reden over en meter høj hængende fra et lavt filial i vores One Acre Woods.

"Wow. It's just like in Winnie the Pooh!" "Wow. Det er ligesom med Peter Plys!" That was Little Lady, now 3 years and 3 months old. Det var Little Lady, som nu er 3 år og 3 måneder gamle.

"Destroy it. There must be thousands of bees in there!" "Ødelæg det. Der må være tusindvis af bier derinde!" That was my wife. Det var min kone.

The fact is that I have had to destroy four bees nests in the past three weeks, all between the stones in our foundation. Faktum er, at jeg har haft til at ødelægge fire bier reder i de seneste tre uger, alle mellem stenene i vores fundament. I am not keen to drive the bees away from their forest nest and toward the house. Jeg er ikke interesseret i at køre bierne væk fra deres skov reden og op til huset. In fact, I think I'll post an arrow sign near the house pointing to the forest: "Cheap rent. Spacious hive. Vibrant community." Faktisk tror jeg, at jeg vil sende en pil tegn i nærheden af huset peger på skoven: "Billige leje. Rummelig bistade. Livlige fællesskab."

So far, we've avoided the pets inside the house - we won't discuss the "storm trooper ants incident" or the midnight mouse-trap peanut-butter visits - and we have kept the hogs and sheep at bay (although the chickens sheepishly crawl through the fence and the stray cats like to run hog wild around our land). Hidtil har vi undgået, kæledyr inde i huset - vi vil ikke diskutere "storm Trooper myrer hændelse" eller midnat muse-fælde jordnøddeolie-smør besøg - og vi har holdt Hogs og får i skak (selv om de kyllinger sheepishly gennemgang gennem hegnet og herreløse katte gerne køre hog vilde omkring vores jord).

No pets, perhaps. Ingen kæledyr, måske. But you still have to share your space with skunks and spiders and bees when you live in the country. Men du stadig nødt til at dele dine rum med skunks og edderkopper og bier, når du bor i landet.

Coming soon to a humor column near you: How I adopted 14,673 cluster flies on a Tuesday afternoon....without even breaking into a sweat. Kommer snart til en humor kolonne i nærheden af dig: Hvordan jeg blev vedtaget 14.673 klynge fluer på en tirsdag eftermiddag .... uden selv at bryde ind i en sved.

About The Author Om forfatteren

David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column. David Leonhardt offentliggør Happy Guy humor kolonne.

Visit his home page: http://www.thehappyguy.com Besøg hans hjemmeside: http://www.thehappyguy.com

David is owner of The Liquid Vitamin Supplements Store: http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net David er ejeren af den flydende Vitamin Supplements Store: http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net

Info@thehappyguy.com Info@thehappyguy.com


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